


Make Me Feel More Human

by belovedhell



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Half-Siblings, Hatred, Jealousy, Love at First Sight, M/M, Misunderstandings, Protective Sam Winchester, Secrets, Sibling Incest, Unrequited Love, Young Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 09:41:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6605917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belovedhell/pseuds/belovedhell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU where Dean isn't Sam's older brother, but the young half brother, who gets taken into a life of a hunting with Adam and Sam. Now that he's all alone, Dean only has his older brothers to look up to. Problem is that no one told him Sam is an amazing big brother and Adam is an huge asshole. Dean just couldn't help but fall in love with Sam.</p><p>[Many errors, will revise later]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make Me Feel More Human

**Author's Note:**

> Another Sam/Dean story! This one is super long, whoops. Didn't even know until I was done. Again did something different, hope you like the story. Sorry for any errors. Comments are lovely and appreciated. As well as kudos.

Everything was supposed to be normal and simple as each day slowly passed by. But, what Dean didn't expect was to be pulled out of his normal life and into a life of a hunter. Watching his mom get turned into a ghoul, then learned about monsters and the supernatural world certainly caught Dean off guard. Also the fact that he had two older half-brothers from his father side, which brought him mixed feelings between anger and hurt that his father, John, raised his boys, but not him.

Dean resented his father and wanted nothing to do with him. But now that he had no one... no mom, no family; just his older brothers since he recently learned that John passed away. He had no choice but to join them. Learn the ways of hunting and save the world from monsters.

Honestly, it felt weird at first because each of the brothers were seriously different from one another. The oldest was Adam: age twenty-seven, he was a taller than Dean and had the same blond color hair as him. From appearance, Dean looked similar to Adam, but his attitude was beyond the opposite. He was sarcastic, uncaring, and solemn most of the time, he was definitely an asshole. Adam didn't like Dean off the bat, stating that he had to make a life and refused him to come with them. Often violence resorted when Dean defied him, which was stupid because he could never stand a chance against Adam.

Then there was Sam, age twenty-three, now Dean really liked being near him. He was more compassionate and really cared for him, unlike Adam; Sam would interfere and defend Dean. Sam was extremely tall compared to them, and he had long, brown shaggy hair, which Dean would ruffle sometimes. Dean could relate to Sam a lot, both often felt alone and outcast to others, which was why Sam wanted him to go with them in the first place. So Dean wouldn't be alone, but rather, be beside his brothers.

At the age of eighteen, Dean became a hunter and started doing cases around states with his brothers. Adam was hard to talk to and Dean wasn't going to push his luck because he won't hesitate to kick Dean out if he pissed him off. Sam on the other hand was easy to get along with, Dean would just start rambling while Sam would listen and then laugh.

Dean didn't know when it started but he began to fall in love with Sam. It was wrong and not to mention sinful, but he didn't care because all he wanted was for Sam to hold him. Over the past three months Dean would observe Sam, how he smiled and how he made sure his brothers were safe. Although, he noticed something as he watched Sam... the way he would secretly and carefully look at Adam. Dean suddenly made a realization that Sam was in love with Adam. Well, doesn't that fucking suck.

* * *

It was late June, and the fourth month that Dean has been with them. Adam pulled the Impala over a motel to get rooms. Ordering Sam to get everything out as he made his way towards the crappy lobby, not even glancing at Dean.

"I hate when he bosses you around," Dean muttered bitterly. Seriously, Sam deserved more than to be treated like a fucking servant.

"It's fine. That's part of being an older brother." Sam's lips made a thin line, before curving a corner of his mouth upwards as he messes with Dean's spikes. "You on the other hand are supposed to be a squirt and a pain in the ass!"

Dean laughed, trying to swat his hands away. "Hey! Cut it out! I work hard on this every morning." They were interrupted as Adam cleared his throat, his arms crossed in anger.

"C'mon Sam. Our room is number seven," Adam twirled the key in his hand, and then tossed another room key to Dean, who clumsily caught it. "You're on number eight." Was all he said as he paced forward, not giving a chance for Dean to speak.

Glancing at his key, Dean couldn't help but sigh. Of course, they'd give him his own room, while they shared a two bedroom. The worse part was that Adam never asked for a conjoined room, he didn't want another door that led to Dean's room. Adam didn't even like it when Dean would enter into their room. So Dean was always alone in his room, at least until it was time to hunt.

"Let's go, Dean," Sam patted his shoulder as he followed Adam. Grumbling, Dean picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder; how he wished he and Sam would share a room. He blushed at the thought of seeing Sam half-naked when he gets out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist. Adam was a lucky son of a bitch.

Dean made his way to his one bedroom room, he frowned at the disgusting dust that was everywhere around the room. That's another thing Dean hated, that the motel rooms were so filthy and unsanitary that it prompted him to buy cleaning supplies to clean every time he was there. He wasn't a neat freak but he hated germs.

"Hope we're not here for too long." Opening his bag he took out a Lysol spray and sprayed it around the room, before he checked the bed for any sightings of bugs. With no evidence of bug trace, Dean grabbed the blanket and waved it around to make sure the dust was off. He paused when he heard shouting coming from the next room.

"Why can't you just be decent for once!" Sam shouted in anger. Dean winced, knowing that they were probably fighting because of him. He didn't want to be nosey but Dean was curious what they were talking about now. He wondered what he did this time? Dean tried to behave good and followed all the orders they would give him.

"I am trying, Sam! I just don't trust him, it's always been us so why do we need him?" Adam countered as he continued, "He's only slowing us down! Can't you see that? I always have to rescue his ass and sometimes he puts you in danger." Dean's eyes widened- Ouch- he never thought he was a nuisance. Now he hated that the motels had thin walls.

"He's our brother! You're acting like dad! News flash, he's dead. You're just pissed off because dad spent more time with him than you-" Dean heard a thump, Adam must've punched Sam, and then he heard more crashing sounds. They were physically fighting. Dean began to wonder if that's the reason Adam hated him.

Biting his lips, Dean wanted to go over there and stop everything, he wanted to protect Sam. But he couldn't go over there because he wasn't even supposed to hear their conversation. Dean didn't move, instead he forced his eyes to close, painfully.

"Don't you ever say that about dad again!" Adam snapped; making Dean flinched in fear. He sounded so furious.

"Or what? Going to punch me more? Go for it." Sam challenged. "Just fucking leave Dean alone!" Dean was touched by Sam's words, he cared for him tremendously.

Dean heard Adam scoffed, and then shuffling before a door slammed, loudly. Resting his forehead against the cheap barrier, Dean lightly punched the wall. Why did it have to turn out like this? Dean was just causing trouble and it made him feel pathetic... and lonely. Maybe it will just be better off if he left.

Turning his head, Dean decided to just leave. He didn't want Sam to get in trouble, he'd always defend Dean and it hurt him because he can't do the same for Sam. Grabbing his duffel bag, Dean took a deep breath. It's going to kill him to be away from Sam. But it has to be done. Many questions were flying into Dean's mind: Where would he go? Where could he stay? What would he do now?

They were important questions, but at the moment Dean didn't care. All he cared was that Sam would be safe and no longer protecting him.

As he made his way to the exit Dean grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. He was surprised as he saw Sam, who was barely about to knock.

"Sam? Hey-" Dean's mouth slightly parted as he gazed at his bruised cheek. His lips also had a cut, probably busted. Adam really did a number on him. "Are you oka-" He was cut off as Sam asked a blunt question.

"Where are you going?"

Shit, Dean thought. "Just going for a walk." Lame excuse, but he hoped Sam would believe him.

"With your bag?" Fuck. He was too sharp- then again Sam did go to Stanford.

Dean sighed. He might as well say the truth. "Sam, I'm leaving." When Dean looked at him, he frowned when Sam made a panic expression. Sam abruptly gripped his shoulders as he began to tremble.

"W-Why?"

"I'm not meant for the hunting gig. I should just go-"

"You heard us, didn't you?" His tone lingered with sadness as his eyes lowered in shame. Dean gulped, trying to think of another lie but he couldn't because Sam hit the bullseye. "I didn't mean to- I tried not to but you guys were so loud."

Suddenly Sam hugged him, his arms wrapping so very gently around him. Dean shivered at the contact, he could feel himself blushing. "S-Sam?"

"Don't go. Please. I know everything is going shitty right now, but it'll get better," he reassured as he pulled away. Dean mentally groaned from the loss of his touch.

"When, Sam?" Dean huffed, taking a few steps back as he turned away, "I feel like an outcast. I feel more like a stranger than a brother." He admitted with sadness on his face when he looked back, "I should've died with mom." Once he said that Dean couldn't take it back, Sam just stood there emotionless, hurt flickered in his eyes. Now he regretted saying that. "Shit." Running his hands through his hair, "Sorry, I didn't mean that. I'm grateful that you guys saved me and took me in…" Nothing else was coming out because Dean didn't know what else to say, or how to make things better. The atmosphere was killing him.

He expected Sam to leave or yell at him, but the next action surprised and scared him. Sam pinned him harshly against the wall, the door automatically closed as he pushed it shut. A sharp dagger was closely pressed against his throat. Dean lolled his head back to get away from the blade, then trembled, "S-Sam? W-What are you doing?"

His duffle bag was long gone to the floor; Dean was terrified as he gazed at Sam for an explanation. Their bodies were pressed close together. Dean would've been thrilled, if not the fact that the blade was near his throat, almost cutting him.

"If you want to die I can finish you off right now?" His eyes widened in fear, Sam didn't even flinch as he glared dangerously at him, Dean seen those eyes before, just right before he kills a monster. He would really do it…

Dean's eyes began to get watery, "But I'm your brother-" The blade was pressed harder, this time it did cut his soft skin.

"You said it yourself. 'I feel more like a stranger than a brother.' Your words remember? So why not just kill you if you're a stranger to me?" Sam inquired, a harsh scowled made his way to his lips. Dean was petrified. His heart shattered that Sam wouldn't even hesitate to kill him.

Tears streamed down his face; he was so pathetic and a coward that he was crying in front of his favorite brother. The one person he loved more than his own life. This was heartbreaking.

Sam lifted the weapon as he let go of Dean, who slowly slid down the wall. His expression didn't once change, Sam kept his gaze firmed and solemn as he watched Dean. "Next time don't say something you don't mean." With that he left the room, not once looking back.

Dean sniffled, wiping his tears away with his forearm. His hands were shaking with fear; he hugged his knees and sobbed. This was the first time Sam was cold and ruthless to him. It hurt.

* * *

The next morning Adam found a case about a supposed shapeshifter on the loose, killing people in the middle of the night. They waited until nighttime before they headed out to lurk in the alleys.

Dean stayed cooped up in his room all day and was sort of relieved to be finally out. He couldn't face Sam so he just stayed in his room. It's not like Adam ever invited him anywhere anyway, he would just give Dean money to support himself throughout the days they stayed in town. Not caring what he does as long as he doesn't bother Adam. Sam was mostly his companion, but today Dean was all alone.

After last night's incident Dean made sure to distance himself from Sam.

Adam made a signal to Sam to go right while he goes left. Usually Dean would go with Sam, but not this time, he went with Adam, who was mostly surprised rather than annoyed. Adam didn't say anything other than to hurry up.

He was going to prove himself, that he's not weak, and in fact, can protect himself and his brothers. Gripping the gun tightly, Dean halted as something swift passed him. "It's here," he whispered as he tried to aim at the creature. Adam shot first, but the creature was quicker and pushed him aside.

"Shit! Sam!" Adam shouted for help, the gun went across the floor. Dean stood frozen for a second, but having the courage he raced towards the creature and shot it. A silver bullet grazed on its shoulder. Dean cussed, he really needed to learn how to shoot accurately.

The shapeshifter let out a cry between anger and agony. Completely forgetting Adam, the shifter rushes to Dean. "Fuck!" Dean's back hits against the wall, he was trapped. Dead end of the alley. The shifter swung his claws across his face, Dean swiftly blocked it using his forearms, but the damage was done. One of his arms was gashed across his skin.

Before it could attack him again, gunshots were fired multiple times causing the shifter to automatically drop dead on the ground. Sighing in relief, Dean tilted his head upwards, expecting Adam to be the one who killed the monster, but it wasn't him. It was Sam.

Sam helped Adam from the ground. "It's about time your ass showed up." The two older brothers smiled at one another. Dean had to force himself to look away from the sight. He'll never be like them. Hunters... and more importantly, real brothers.

Putting his gun away Dean dusted off any dirt on his jacket, slighting wincing as he moved his injured arm. "Dean?" Adam called him. Snapping his head towards him, "Yeah?" Adam hardly says his name, it's usually 'you' or 'hey.'

"Thanks for having my back," he said firmly.

Dean wanted to smile because Adam was thanking him, finally giving him recognition. But he felt like he didn't deserve it, he didn't do much and practically missed his target. Also because he felt like shit. Instead he nodded.

Now that they were done, they salt and burn the creature's corpse and went back to the motel. Dean was exhausted and his arm hurt like a bitch. He needed to put something to soothe it before it becomes infected. Good thing no one noticed his injuries, not like they'll care anyway.

Entering back to his room he flopped down on his bed, his eyelids were getting heavy. But Dean couldn't sleep, he needed to shower and get all the grime and dirt off of him. Taking his bloody shirt off Dean accidentally touched his injury, "Son of a bitch!" Finally having a good look at his cut, Dean panicked. It was too wide and he could see his deep tissue; ointment wasn't going to do anything. He needed to get stitches.

Great. He can't go to the hospital because his brothers try to avoid attention as much as possible.

A knock brought him back to reality. Who could it be? "Shit. Coming!" Grabbing his jacket, Dean put it on quickly as he ran towards the door. Ignoring his pain for just a little longer as he unlocked the door, it creaked when he opened it slowly and just a little bit. He saw Sam on the other side. His heart began to race at the sight of seeing him. No. Not now...

"Sam? What do you need?" Dean said rather coldly.

"I wanted to make sure if you were alright?" Sam slowly replied.

"Peachy. Bye." Just as he was about to slam the door Sam put his foot in between to stop it. Dean snarled, "Go away. I don't want to see you." He tried to put force on the door, but with just one arm it wasn't enough. He didn't dare to try using his injured arm.

"You're hurt," he stated as he gripped the door's edge, "Let me help you." Dean cold heartedly laughed, he didn't want to bring it up but Sam pushed his buttons. "Help? You want to help! Then get the fuck out of here!" he yelled, "You helped last night after you put a blade beside my throat."

Both boys heard footsteps coming their way. "What's going on here?" Adam raised his eyebrow in question as he glanced at Dean suspiciously. "I heard shouting? Did you want to start something?" Adam glared at him as he folded his arms.

Dean wanted to shut the door, but Sam was still on the other side holding the door in place. He didn't want to start trouble, Dean just wanted to shower and sleep. Gulping, "N-No. I just wanted- I'm- I" he was stammering and couldn't think of a way out.

"I just came to see if he had any hot water since you wasted ours," Sam abruptly spoke up, bring Adam's attention from Dean. Adam smirked, "Oh yeah, I used it all. My bad."

Not sure if Sam was lying, but if he was, damn that was a good lie because Adam believed it. "So I wanted to ask Dean if I could use his bathroom." Oh no. He sees where this was going, Sam wanted an excuse to be in his room. So they can either talk or fix his injury. Dean prayed Adam would say no, he had to.

Just like always everything went wrong for Dean. "I'm sure he won't mind, right, Dean?" It was almost like a warning for him to better say yes unless he wanted to start shit.

Sighing in defeat, Dean moved aside to leave the door wide open. "No problem. Bathroom is free to use." So much for sleep and relaxing.

Sam smiled, "Great. I'll get my clothes. Adam, don't waste the hot water again." Dean left the door opened for no reason as his oldest brothers went back to their room. Huffing, Dean shut the door. Assholes.

He laid back down on his bed, stretching as he lets out a yawn. Sleep nearly knocking him out, Dean glanced at the door again. He didn't bother locking it since Sam was going to use his shower. Closing his eyes for a second, Dean was out in minutes.

A sudden creak made him jolt upwards, getting in defense mode. Dean relaxed when it was just Sam, he groggily mumbled something before closing his eyes.

"Dean?" Sam called him.

"F-five.. more minutes mom," Dean murmured tiredly. A random weight dipped the bed, prompting Dean to prop his elbows, which was a huge mistake. "Ah! Son of bitc-" He immediately sat up, biting his lips harshly as he held his injured arm. Fuck! He forgot he was hurt and cut up.

Sam wasted no time as he grabbed his wrist, pulling it away from his side. "Let me see," it wasn't an order but a pleaded request. "I brought an aid kit." Dean grumbled before he slipped his jacket off, prying off Sam's hand from his. He wasn't in the mood for emotional bullshit. All Dean wanted was Sam to quickly heal him then be off.

Showing his gash, Sam gasped at the sight of his little brother hurt. "Dean, this is injured pretty badly! Why didn't you say anything?" Gently grabbing his arm to inspect the cut, Sam grimaced and then turned to his side to grab the aid kit that was beside the bedside.

"Why should I?" Dean scowled, "You made it pretty clear yesterday on how you would finish me off with no problem. You don't care about me! So stopping acting like you do!" He snatched his arm back as Dean stood up, "I'm going to shower."

He didn't take more than a couple of steps when Sam stopped him by tugging on his shirt. "I'm sorry, Dean." Sam finally apologized, his voice cracked, "I didn't mean to do that."

Dean suddenly was overwhelmed with guilt, his face softened, "Whatever. Let's just forget it ever happened." Sam still didn't release his hold on his shirt, even he was crestfallen, gazing at the floor as his bangs hid his eyes.

"No. Because I made you fear me, and that wasn't my intention. I'm so sorry. I promised myself that I would always look after you and protect you, yet I did such a thing..."

"I was just mad when you said you should've died. Honestly, that terrified me more than anything, more than you leaving because I can't stand the thought of you not being here one day. These past few months were different with you around. I feel more human- No, you make me feel more human than ever knowing you're by my side. Not even Adam makes me feel like that." Sam confessed as he finally looked directly at Dean.

Everything around Dean slowed down, his stomach felt funny and he could feel his cheeks getting hot. Sam didn't hate him, he deeply cared for him and it hurt him to hear that Dean preferred to be gone than be with his brothers. No wonder he was pissed at him, Dean deserved it.

Dean could see Sam having inner turmoil with himself, probably from yesterday's incident. Softly sighing, he wrapped his arms around his older brother in a comforting way. Gently petting his hair as he whispered kind words, "It's alright, Sammy. I know you didn't mean it. I forgive you. I'm sorry for acting like a jerk too. I love being near you guys. Feels like something that's been missing my whole life."

Sam, for a moment he was shocked by the sudden warmth and comfort, then it faded as he rested his head against his chest. Enjoying the contact and Dean's fingers combing through his hair. It was different, yet, comfortable, but still different. Sam wasn't complaining though, he felt himself relaxing as he listened to Dean's words.

Truth be told, Sam couldn't focus all day, his mind kept thinking about Dean. How he hurt him and pulled such a dangerous stunt on him? How he made Dean cry? The image still haunted Sam in his mind. Even during their hunt for the shifter he couldn't concentrate as he kept thinking of a way to apologize to Dean. He was hurt when Dean chose to partner with Adam instead of him. It was the first time that made Sam realized that he didn't want to lose Dean's companionship.

As he heard Adam shouting for help when the shifter attacked him, all Sam could worry about was Dean. Was he okay? Dean could've easily gotten hurt because he wasn't a pro hunter like them. When he made his way towards his brothers, Sam saw Adam on the floor and Dean's back against the wall as the shapeshifter advanced to him.

Sam swiftly shot the monster down, but not before it swung his claws at Dean. No! He knew he was hurt and kept a close eye on him when they made their way back to the motel. Not once did Sam miss when Dean winced when he and Adam were looking away. It was obvious he was hurt and Sam couldn't take the silence and distance between them. He needed to apologize to Dean, as well as fix his wounds.

Pulling away, Dean genuinely smiled at him, "Feel better?"

He nodded, eyes drifting back to his wound. "Let me stitch you up." Opening the aid kit, Sam pulled out a sharp needle and black thread. "This might sting a little." A little? Maybe it won't be so bad. Dean feared needles, even getting stitches made him nervous because of that damn needle.

Abruptly, he felt cold liquid being poured on his gash, Dean cussed, "What the fuck?" Dean narrowed his eyes, Sam poured alcohol on his fresh wound and it fucking stung. "Alcohol?"

"To disinfect the wound. Now, this is going to be bitch." Before Dean could question him, a sharp needle pierced through his skin in a fast motion. He cried out in pain, while Sam continued stitching him in a fast pace. Going quickly as possible for his sake.

Dean felt his eyes getting watery, this was so painful and his skin felt on fire. He couldn't help but try to pull away, yet Sam wouldn't let him go as he kept a good grip on his arm. "Dean, you can't move. I'm almost done."

"Stop! This hurts!" Dean yelped in agony as he felt another stabbed pain inflicted through his skin. "Just take me to the hospital-" He winced, tears falling down alongside his cheeks. His whole body was shaking, even Sam noticed.

"Hey? Dean? Look at me," Sam pleaded, halting for a moment. Slowly, Dean looked at him, his eyes desperately pleading for him to stop. He whimpered as he stared at his half-stitch arm. God, Dean was going to throw up.

"Everything is going to be okay. I'm almost done. Do you trust me?" Dean slightly sniffled, and then nodded. He trusted Sam with his life and everything he'd ever done for him. He couldn't believe that he was crying again. Dean needed to man up.

Sam made a couple of more piercings and finally a knot, before he ripped the thread when he was done, and lastly dripped alcohol once was time for precaution. "Finished." He let of a sigh as he rubbed sweat off his forehead.

"T-thanks." Dean raised his arm slowly, careful not to bend it. "Ow-"

"Here," Sam held two painkillers in his palm. "Take these so the pain could stop."

Gulping the pills immediately, Dean made a relieved expression. The day really took a toll on him: he avoided talking to Sam, he almost got killed by a shifter, and lastly, he got painfully stitched up. All Dean wanted was to sleep.

"Sam, can I ask you something?" Dean asked out of the blue.

"Sure," Sam sat beside him since he was practically kneeling on the floor.

"If I ever turn into a monster-" Dean took a deep breath, "kill me. You, not Adam." The question was going through his mind; his mom turned into a ghoul and had to be killed, Dean was so close to turning one. Ever since then he's afraid of turning into a monster; and if it did ever happen he wants to be put out of his misery. But only by Sam.

Sam's eyes slanted as his eyebrows furrowed together by the sudden request. "What? Where did that come from? I would never do that to you!" He was offended that Dean would even suggest such a thing.

"Promise me. That it's you who'll do it. Please, Sam."

Sam wanted to shake him violently, but he remembered that Dean was injured. "No! S-Stop talking nonsense!" Anger lingered in his tone, his hands balled up into fists. Not even Adam had asked him this and he never will.

Laying back on his pillow, Dean's eyes grew heavier and heavier. "Please Sammy." His gaze wandered through his beautiful hazel eyes. His eyes closing and opening a couple of times before he drifted off to slumber, not hearing what Sam said.

"I don't think I can do that," he whispered, melancholy. Sam pulled the blanket up to Dean and secretly kissed his temple. "and neither will Adam. I'll make sure of it."

* * *

Dean was in top shape again within a week. Sure, his arm still ached like a bitch, but now he can move it more freely. Sam had been helping him when it came to hunting, much to Adam's dismay. Proving the fact the Dean was slowing them down, not that he cared.

They drove to Oregon; supposedly a vampire was lurking around the forest. Twenty people had either gone missing or were found dead against the trees. The news stated that it was nothing but a wild animal, most likely a bear. Bullshit.

They booked a motel not too far from the forest, getting everything off, the usual routine. Dean getting his own room again followed by a scowl from Adam. Everything was the same routine, except to his surprise his room was actually cleaned for once, and it had a television. Score!

"Yes! I can finally watch movies," he grinned as he settled his duffle bag on his bed. He took out a few movies that he bought in the last town and took some snacks out. Dean probably has a few hours before they go hunting. Might as well relax.

"Someone looks excited?" Sam said as he entered his room, closing it once he was inside. Dean blinked, he was so excited by the TV that he forgot to close the door. Not that it bothered him, Sam was always welcome into his room. He wasn't a dick like Adam.

"Yeah, there's finally a TV in the motel! So I figured why not watch some movies. Want to join me?" Dean offered with a smile on his face.

"Sure. What kind of movies do you have?" Sam settled on his couch, while Dean showed him his movies. "I should warn you, I like horror and old 80's movies. You can pick whichever you want? I don't mind."

Bonus! Sam was going to watch a movie with him. The day was getting better and better. It's awesome, almost like a date- Dean shook his head. He can't be thinking like that or he's going to scare Sam away.

"I pick Cujo. I remember being scared of this movie when I was a kid." He handed the movie to Dean, who happily took the disk and slipped it inside the DVD.

Sitting down at the edge of the couch he turned the TV on as he got comfortable. Grabbing a snack, which was beef jerky, he offered Sam a bite. "Want some? It's really tasty." Dean expected Sam to get the snack from him, but he certainly didn't expect Sam to lean over and open his mouth to take a bite.

"It is good." Sam licked his lips, almost seductively, as he went back to his attention to the starting movie.

Dean froze, but quickly recovered as a screaming noise from the film spooked him. Usually he would've made a funny comment, but he couldn't do it at the moment- Not when his heart was bouncing all over his rib cage. Instead he glanced at the dark screen in front of him, a blush forming across his cheeks. Good thing the room was dim, even though it was still sunny outside the dark curtains made it damn hard to tell.

He tried not to make a big deal about it. Sam was just being a lazy ass or just showing affection, right? Dean knew that Sam was in love with Adam and not with him, so he shouldn't be thinking anything of it. Yet, it was the first time Sam did something so intimate. Again, not that it bothered him.

His hands were on his thighs, he could feel his palms beginning to sweat. How embarrassing? Dean was acting like a school girl.

"Dean?" Sam said his name softly.

Without looking at Sam, he answered, "Yeah?" He tried to make it look like he was paying attention to the movie. Yet it was impossible when he felt Sam's intense gaze on him, almost observing him.

"Do you like me?" Now he didn't expect that. Was Dean that obvious? He couldn't, he was so careful. Playing dumb would be stupid so he decided to play along but in a different direction.

"Of course, you're my brother," Dean chuckled, slightly hollow.

Sam shook his head, "No. I mean, do you really like me?" He stopped watching the movie as he looked directly at Dean, his expression unreadable. Dean could feel his Adam's apple throbbed, suddenly finding it hard to swallow his saliva.

"Sam- I-" Dean stuttered as he lolled his head in shame, "Yes..." He couldn't lie even if he wanted to because Sam can read him like an open book. Dean tried to calm his whole body down, but it was proven difficult because he can feel his nerves trembling.

"I understand if you don't want to be near me or want me to leave. I- I never wanted you so find out, Sam." His lips quivered as he continued, "I was just going to keep it to myself. Just please don't tell Adam, he'll kick my ass. Probably think I'm sick and twisted for having such thoughts. If he didn't like me before he'll definitely hate me now." He wasn't going to mention about Sam's sick thoughts because Dean wouldn't like to hurt him like that. Also because he wasn't an asshole.

Sam remained quiet, while Dean gulped as he clenched his hands, waiting for a shout- hell- even a punch. Instead he said, "You don't know what you're saying. You've been with us for a couple of months so what you're feeling is probably a misunderstanding." A frown made his way on his lips.

Okay, now Dean was pissed, he just poured all his heart out and Sam was telling him that it was a misunderstanding. The nerve of this guy! Gritting his teeth, he turned his head to Sam sharply.

"You don't know shit! This isn't a misunderstanding, Sam. I love you! You're the only person who cares for me, the only person who defends me. I don't fucking care if we're brothers! So what if we're related by blood? Who cares! We weren't raised together so who gives a fuck," Dean panted as he finished, his breath hoarse. This was the first time he yelled at Sam.

Which was a mistake as soon as he saw hurt lingered in his eyes. Almost like a slap in the face, and Dean was the one who caused this.

Suddenly Sam rose from the couch and quickly made his way to the door. Dean panicked, finally realizing his mistake. "Wait, Sam! I didn't mean it," he exclaimed, yet he was ignored as Sam left the room. "...Shit." Dean smacked himself in the face. What a dumbass?

* * *

Someone bang his door, "Dean!" Adam barked as he pounded the door loudly. "Open the fucking door!" It had been hours since he yelled at Sam, Dean had been gloomy the whole day.

Quickly rushing to the door he opened it, "Yea-" he winced when Adam grasped his shirt's collar, purposely digging his nails into his flesh, putting him face to face with him. Dean mentally cried. Did Sam tell Adam about his harbored love? Did Sam really want Adam to kick his ass?

"What the fuck did you say to Sam?" Adam snapped, gripping his shirt harder.

"What?" Dean's lips made a thin line, not sure if this was a trick question. Did Adam know something? Maybe Sam didn't tell him anything after all.

"He just fucking moping and drinking on the bed! When I asked what the fuck happened all he said was 'Dean yelled at me.'" Growling, Adam glared at him, his breath ghosting his face, almost ready to brawl. Dean tilted his head to the side, Adam sometimes scared the shit out of him.

"It was an accident. I didn't mean to."

That wasn't enough, Adam harshly threw him against the wall, roughly pinning him. "Listen you son of a bitch, if you ever hurt or yell at Sam again I'll end you! You hear me? Sam is the only important person in my life. I would do anything to make sure he's safe, even if it means getting rid of you. Just because he talks to you doesn't mean you're important." Ouch. That hurt.

Realization hit Dean as he stared dumbfounded at Adam. "If Sam ever wants out of this gig, will you let him?" Dean read everything all wrong, Sam wasn't in love with Adam, no, Adam was in love with Sam. It was the other way around. He'd never paid attention to Adam so he never noticed before. The main question remained: Why does Sam stare so fondly at Adam then?

When Dean met Sam the first time, he didn't do that at all, at least not until a few weeks later- Holy fuck! Now it all made sense. Adam and him did have a similar striking resemblance, except the color of their eyes. Adam's eyes were clear blue, while Dean's were pure green. Whenever Sam glanced at Adam he wasn't looking at him, but at Dean. He saw Dean inside Adam.

Well, son of bitch. Now he knows why Adam hated his guts, knowing the fact that Sam loved him more than a brother should. Loved him more than Adam. Dean was still mind blown that he read everything wrong, and was seriously pissed at himself for not seeing it sooner.

Adam scoffed, "Of course not. Sam needs to help me kill monsters, he needs to-" What a selfish bastard? He didn't care for Sam's happiness.

"He needs? Or you want?" Dean challenged, finding the strength he needed to get out of Adam's hold. He smirked as he saw Adam caught off guard by his sudden action. "What? Did you think I was really that weak?" Dean circled around him, feeling rather cocky at knowing the truth. It was time he got some payback for all the times Adam made him feel and treated him like shit.

"Adam, doesn't it hurt when you want something so bad but can't have it?" He saw Adam tensed, his eyes casting towards the ground as if thinking. "Doesn't it hurt more when that something likes someone else?" He hated to refer Sam as 'something', but he wanted to prove a point. Thus, Dean was playing with fire now.

Suddenly Adam snarled as he glared dangerously towards Dean. "You son of a bitch! Stay away from my brother!" Before Dean could taunt him, a fist collided with his face, knocking Dean out cold. Okay, maybe he was weak.

* * *

Dean winced as he placed a cold soda can against his bruised cheek. What the fuck was he thinking? Why the fuck did he challenged Adam? Now he's not going to want him along on his hunts. Why the fuck couldn't he keep his mouth shut?

He could feel his bruise ache as he gently stroked around the area, it was so tender that he didn't have to press on it. It's been hours since the punch so no doubt his face was fucked up already, he can imagine his cheek blue and purple with a hint of yellow just below the eye. Dean wanted to avoid all mirrors at the moment.

Still, he can't believe Adam was in love with Sam. What were the odds? The only problem was that Sam didn't love him like that or even saw Adam anything but a brother. Another sad realization dawned to him, what if Sam really did love Adam? Maybe he's fooling himself into thinking he's in love with Dean when in reality he's in love with Adam.

Frowning, Dean couldn't get his hopes up, Sam rejected him earlier probably because he, himself, was confused. Maybe he's confused about his feelings, or everything for that matter. Sam was probably unaware of Adam's secret love for him, or was he?

Deep down Dean's afraid that he'll lose Sam to Adam. But if that were to happen Dean wasn't going to get in the way, he loved Sam more than anything. All he wanted was to see his brother happy. Even if it meant not being with Dean.

"Dean?" A soft knock was heard. It was Sam. Thank god. He can't take another beating from Adam.

"Come in," Dean said as he sat up against the headboard. He needed to deeply apologize to Sam, he didn't deserve all that shit Dean said.

Once Sam entered he gasped at the sight of Dean hurt. "W-What happened to you?" he demanded to know as he rushed to his side. Dean let out an empty laugh, "I played with fire, Sammy. Adam fucking punched me. Probably deserved it."

"Why?" Sam snarled, his hands clenching into fists. He was angry, but it faded when he saw the purplish bruise forming. Sam wanted to caress his cheek and hug Dean. "Why the fuck would he do this to you?"

"I figured out that he loves you," Dean confessed, and when Sam didn't say anything or even made an expression, he continued, "You knew, didn't you?" A part of Dean wanted to cry because he was scared of the outcome.

"Yeah, I did," Sam admitted. "But I could never return his feelings. Adam was only a brother in my eyes, nothing more and nothing less." He recalled a few years ago when Adam would give him odd stares, and sometimes came to the motel drunk confessing his love to Sam. It was sometimes sad to be honest.

"Do you love me?" Dean wondered, putting the soda can down. He needed to know the truth.

"Yes." Sam whispered.

"Then why did you say it was misunderstanding earlier?" Dean inquired, his tone cracked, but laced with anger. "I thought you hated me and didn't want to see me anymore. I thought I lost you!" He couldn't help but shout.

"You're young, Dean. You don't know what love is-"

"Bullshit! You know what I think? I think you're the one confused! You don't love me Sam, you see Adam in me... that's why..." God, this fucking hurt. Dean closed his eyes and placed back the can on his face.

"What? You honestly think that?" Sam narrowed his eyes, slightly hurt. Without hesitating, he roughly cupped Dean's face and crushed his lips onto his, stunning Dean by the sudden movement, dropping the soda can in the process.

What the fuck! His arms turned into jelly as Sam tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Dean was in cloud nine and prayed to god that this wasn't just a dream. When Sam pulled away, he rested his forehead against Dean's, who just stood back in daze.

"I would never do that to Adam," Sam's breath ghosted over his lips. Dean shivered, even though Sam's hands were holding him softly. Yet, he wasn't sure if he could believe Sam. Terrified that one day he'll leave him.

Knowing what Dean was thinking Sam hugged him. "I love you, Dean. And let me tell you why. You're a wonderful person who sees the world differently, always smile even if everything is shitty. You give me so much affection and make me feel like a somebody." Sam rested his hand on his nape, gently scratching it. "I used to not care if I live or die because there was nothing to live for, but when you showed up. Everything changed... The first time I saw you, you took my breath away."

Dean couldn't help but blush. Good thing Sam was still hugging him. "I didn't know you were such a sap, Sammy." There was no mocking in his words, but pure fondness as he sheepishly smiled. "My good looks must've reeled you right in," he joked, "No one could resist me." He knew Sam loved him more than that. Recalling when Sam told him 'you make me feel more human', Dean had his words engraved in his mind. Something he'll never forget.

Sam playfully snorted, "I'm so glad you're underage because I would be pretty pissed off if anyone flirted with you in the bar. All the girls would throw themselves at you." Awe, Sam would get jealous. Cute.

"Do I sense jealousy in your voice?" Dean teased as he played with the back of his hair by swirling it around his fingertips. "Sam Winchester, jealous? That's a rare sighting."

"Jerk," Sam rolled his eyes, no heat in his words. Instead he was so relieved and filled with joy that he finally had Dean in his arms. Something that he wanted for the past few months. The first time he saw Dean, Sam was breathless and struck with a raw emotion. And when Dean looked at him with his beautiful green eyes, Sam couldn't go back. He had fell in love with Dean.

"Bitch," was the automatic response. Dean was content, being in Sam's arms, but then he recalled what Adam told him. The warning. "Sam, Adam isn't going to be happy about this." He pulled away as he sighed, "He told me to stay away from you..."

"Who cares? And if he does try to hurt you I'll punch him back. Adam can do whatever he wants with me, but if he hurts you... Hell will break loose." Sam touched his bruised cheek, "I can't believe he fucking punch you, that asshole. Sorry, Dean."

"Nothing I can't handle. Adam can beat the shit out of me if he wants to because I have something he can never have. And that's worth all the pain." Fucking cheesy but true. Dean leaned onto Sam's touch. Hoping they can stay like this forever.

There's going to be obstacles in their way and they both knew it, but as longest they have each other they will stand a chance. Being a Winchester wasn't easy, especially when it came to love. Although, that's not going to stop two brothers from being by each other's sides. Sam and Dean will do whatever it takes just to be together.

**Author's Note:**

> Might make a sequel. If it's liked or wanted. Tell me what you guys think of this?


End file.
